Your relationship with food

When you are struggling with binge eating or overeating and feeling desperate to break free from the vicious circle of dieting and bingeing it can be hard to believe that recovery is possible. You may be ashamed about your eating and criticise yourself for not having enough willpower to stop.

But willpower has little to do with it and feelings of shame and self-criticism just keep us stuck - stuck in perceptions of ourselves that often no longer have any basis in reality.

For many, binge eating becomes a way of coping with emotions. If, instead of avoiding difficult feelings or emotions, we can learn to stand back, observe and challenge our thoughts, we get a shift in perception and open ourselves to the possibility of change. 

Often, when the urge to binge is strong it feels unstoppable - almost inevitable. Accepting our thoughts with curiosity and kindness creates space to reflect and choose how we react. If self-criticism keeps us stuck, self-compassion frees us. It helps us to develop the courage we need to face our difficulties and to learn to cope with them in new and more effective ways. It helps us to become more self-supportive – to be our own best friend.

I know that the idea of attending a binge eating group can be terrifying and it is my job as a coach to ensure that the group provides you with a safe space to connect with and share with others. We always begin with a commitment to confidentiality, kindness and compassion and to listen without judgement.

We are so busy judging ourselves we become convinced that others are judging us too in the same way. For so long your bingeing may have been in secret and you may now wonder how you can possibly open up to strangers? Listening to others talk about their experience helps us realise that we are not alone and can give new insight into our problems. It can help to give you a better understanding of your own behaviours and differences and give you practical tips for coping.

The bond and feeling of connection that often grows within the group is a powerful thing. Speaking to others who are going through similar issues to yourself helps you to feel less isolated and more supported. In being compassionate towards others we learn compassion for ourselves. It is a way of reaching out for help and for giving help to others and can be a strong catalyst for change.

Having first studied nutrition when I went back to university many years ago to study Herbal Medicine, I went on to study further taking various CPD courses. For a while I thought it was just a question of motivation and providing a set of dietary rules for clients to follow. Even though we spent time working on willpower and the ability to self-regulate it became clear that something more was going on for many people and I became interested in the psychology of eating and the complex relationship we have with food. Studying with the National Centre for Eating Disorders and The Binge Eating Therapist has opened my eyes to the need for a more holistic, humanistic approach. Binge eating and compulsive eating can be a mask for what else is going on in our lives. Learning to be present and to experience our emotions can be enormously liberating. It frees us from fear. When we understand that restrictive thinking about food drives us towards the next binge we can listen to our bodies and learn how to satisfy our hunger in a way that is both appetising and rewarding. Recovery training shows that an alternative way of living is possible.

We are more than our thoughts. We can choose the actions that will best serve the way we want to live our life and the values we hold dear. As Stephen R Covey writes:

‘In the space between stimulus (what happens) and how we respond, lies our freedom to choose. Ultimately, this power to choose is what defines us as human beings. We may have limited choices, but we can always choose. We can choose our thoughts, emotions, moods, our words, our actions; we can choose our values and live by principles. It is the choice of acting or being acted upon.”

And action is the antidote to fear.

If you would like to join one of my groups please email me at: maureenmcloughlin@changeworks.life to arrange an informal chat. 

New weekly Online Binge Recovery Group starting on Thursday March 25th at 7pm

Weekly cost £35

Groups are kept small with no more than 6 to allow everyone to participate.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Bulimia Nervosa

Those suffering from bulimia nervosa go through a cycle of bingeing and compensatory behaviours such as self-induced vomiting to stop themselves gaining weight. Alongside vomiting, purging may include the use of laxatives and diuretics or excessive exercising in an attempt to rid their bodies of the effects of bingeing.

Bulimia nervosa is a serious health condition often hidden from sight as bulimics are often of normal weight.

Those who suffer from an eating disorder often have a distorted body image and an abnormal preoccupation with weight and shape and an unusual investment in these considerations as a basis for their self-esteem and self-confidence.

If you recognise yourself in any of the above please know that there is much that can be done to help you break the cycle and be free of the hold your behaviour has on you.

We will support you as we work together to understand the triggers that drive your behaviour and which keep you trapped. You will learn new ways to manage your emotions and to cope with all that life brings as we explore the limiting core beliefs and negative thoughts that are at the root of your disorder.

Change starts with a single step....

Please call me to discuss the help available or just to talk without obligation on 07808 401797. 

if you would prefer to email me my address is:

maureenmcloughlin@changeworks.life